Mr. Biggins has decided on the following colour coding for the backstage doilies:
Green – Access all areas including VIP lounge and Mr. Ross’s green corridor by the toilets.
Yellow – Access all areas including VIP lounge but not Mr. Ross’s green corridor by the toilets.
Blue – Access all areas but not VIP lounge nor Mr. Ross’s green corridor by the toilets.
At this point I asked Mr. Biggins what access all areas could be if it didn’t include the VIP lounge or Mr. Ross’s corridor. He said don’t be stupid, access all areas will be everywhere else and then continued with the following.
Pink – Access to Gents toilet only via Mr. Ross’s green corridor.
Mr. Biggins says that all yellow and blue doily holders will automatically qualify for a pink doily but as green doily holders already have access to Mr. Ross’s green corridor they will not be issued a pink doily which would be superfluous to requirements.
When I said to Mr. Biggins that anyone with a combination yellow and pink doily had in effect the same backstage access as anyone with a green doily and what was the point he said the point was that a yellow and pink doily person would not be authorised to hang around in Mr. Ross’s green corridor once they’d been for a wee, they would be expected to move sharply out and back into the main bar area.
I said if a yellow and pink doily person couldn’t hang about in Mr. Ross’s green corridor what happens if there’s a rush for the toilet? Pink and yellow people will certainly be queuing up and hanging about in Mr. Ross’s corridor then wouldn’t they and Mr. Ross would not be very pleased with that would he?
Mr. Biggins frowned and reluctantly took my point and said he thought his colour coded doilies may need further refinements. Mr. Biggins says he thinks the introduction of a black doily would be the answer. When I asked why, Mr. Biggins said he didn’t know but he’ll work on it.
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