It’s been somewhat of a race against time organising this year’s GIT awards ceremony.
With last year’s venue completely scuppered at the last minute by Mrs. Redgrove an alternative location has proved to be very hard to find.
What with that and endless problems with Jonathan Ross since he was given bucket loads of money by the BBC coupled with the prospect of road works on Yalding bridge scheduled for the three week run-up to the awards has, I’m sure you’ll agree, not helped the organiser in his task.
First, the venue:
I’m happy to report that after days of uncertainty, Mr. Biggins came up trumps.
Although Mrs. Redgrove had threatened to blacklist us throughout Yalding and surrounding areas we found that Mr. Biggins, manager of the Yalding Social Club, was so desperate for business after his New Year’s Eve celebration party decimated the entire membership of the Yalding Primrose Club he couldn’t care less who he hired the hall out to.
When the bass line of The Hokey-Cokey brought the ceiling crashing down onto the dance floor soon after midnight, it was only poor old Mr. Mayfield who luckily survived due to his confusion over whether his left leg should be in or out. He’d gone into the bar to ask his wife and escaped with his life.
Secondly, Jonathan Ross:
Your organiser had hoped to secure Jonathan’s services for a second successive year but his demands are getting quite outrageous.
Even Mr. Biggins, as desperate as he is for new custom, has drawn the line at providing all guests with blindfolds in an attempt to ensure that nobody actually looks at Mr. Ross in a funny way.
Mr. Biggins has also refused to ban the eating of oranges during the awards ceremony so, I’m sorry to say, Ross negotiations are far from complete.
A further announcement will be made on this delicate subject in the near future.
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