The original band of four loyal contestants can't quite believe they've aged ten years since innocently agreeing to take part in an online quiz that does absolutely nothing to contribute to world peace, famine reduction, saving whales or the pursuit of knowledge.

Over the years the number of contestants has increased in leaps and bounds from the first four trailblazers to a mind-boggling eight, all of whom regret the decision to take part every day of their bloody lives.

So relive those heady days of yesteryear in 2005 and 2006 when Jonathan Ross would do anything for a few bob and the GTI awards presentation evenings were the envy of the world.


Wednesday, 10 June 2015

GTI Awards 2006 - Progress Report 02

I’m pleased to report that we have finally reached a negotiated settlement with Jonathan Ross for the 2006 GIT Awards ceremony. 

It has been a protracted and difficult affair largely due to Mr. Ross and his incessant demands which your organiser and Mr. Biggins found impossible to agree to. 

But now, happily, a compromise of sorts has been reached. The following has been agreed with the Jonathan Ross management team:

  1. The builders who repaired the dance hall ceiling damage by holding it up with broom handles propped up on books balanced on the snooker tables at each end of the room will be required to install a completely new RSJ. Mr. Biggins says this would please the majority of club members as potting the black will be a lot easier and cross-eyed Charlie with the funny arm will just have to stop moaning and re-adjust his game.

  1. Jonathan Ross will be provided with a crash helmet which he will wear at all times during the ceremony.

  1. Your organiser will ensure that all oranges provided on the night are peeled before leaving the bar area.

Hopefully this will all help to prevent a re-occurrence of the violence and humiliation that Mr. Ross endured last year and provide us all with some peace of mind if the Hokey-Cokey gets off the ground later in the evening.


Unfortunately the awards ceremony may not be being held in the most salubrious of surroundings this year thanks to bloody Mrs. Redgrove, but if the Yalding bridge road works are finished in time and Mr. Biggins’ manslaughter charges are dropped, I can promise another star-studded evening of thrills and surprises.
Posted by at

No comments:

Post a Comment

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)